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Soldier's Heart

Friday, October 7, 2011

6:09AM - some quotes that helped me get through my boyfriend's deployment =]

"Life is a tragedy for those who feel, and a comedy for those who think."- La Bruyere

"Work spares us from 3 evils: boredom, vice, and need"- Voltaire

"Tough times don't last but tough people do"

"Because it is rare indeed that we do not learn something from each sojourn here and because we always carry forward every gain, it is guaranteed that we evolve rather than devolve."

"Maturity is found in realizing that your life problems are problems others would dream of having."

"The soul wouldn't have rainbows if the eyes didn't have tears."
- Native American quote

"The reason people give up so fast is because they tend to look at how far they still have to go, instead of how far they have already gotten."

"Damaged people are dangerous cause they know they can survive."

The resurrection gives my life meaning and direction and the opportunity to start over no matter what my circumstances. ~Flatt

But you cant stop nothing
If you got no control
Of the thoughts in your mind
-Jack Johnson song


"The only reason for time is so everything doesn't happen at once." -Albert Einstein

"To love in spite of all is the secret of greatness. And may very well be the greatest secret in this universe."

Monday, August 22, 2011

5:27PM - Good for a smile

Sidewinder - Air National Guard

Saturday, July 16, 2011

5:10PM - My cousin needs your thoughts and/or prayers

After getting told she was still cancer free (had colon cancer several years ago) at the end of May, she went to the ER with severe pain, and they discovered aggressive cancer in her liver and along her spine. She's on an aggressive course of chemo, but....*SOB*

She's my oldest cousin; she was the flower girl at my parents' wedding; I had just spoken to her and her husband about how I should save to come visit them after my subsidy went through...and I just love her LOTS.

She also served in the U.S. Navy before I (or her little brother, who is my age) was born.

Please, send whatever good kind of vibes you believe in her way because she's been through a lot of crap and done a lot of stuff in her life that could make 10 reality shows, but she's come through it all to be a remarkable person with a remarkable husband who loves her and her family with all his being.

Thank you.

Current mood: worried

Monday, May 30, 2011

5:59PM - Bit of Historical Trivia about Today

United States Memorial Day was declared into existence at the end of the United States Civil War to remember the fallen soldiers of that war alone.
--------------------
I'm glad the people opened their minds and hearts to the families, friends, and survivors of the wars beyond that point, as well.

Praying for strength and peace of mind for all our active soldiers and their allies, their friends and families, and the family and friends of those we and our allies have lost.

Monday, May 16, 2011

10:29PM - Ive been a good post service girlfriend but I have to know....

When do you draw the line? When has someone just taken everything they can from you and you finally snap out of it and notice? Ive been friends with this guy for 4 almost 5 years and we had 2 years of a very off and on relationship...Ive stood by him through every med change through every thing the VA wanted to try, through EVERYTHING, reading/devouring books about PTSD and such. And everytime I think it's finally going to work and its finally the right time for us, its my birthday (last week) Ive driven 14 hours to see him for a week and after 4 days together I get a message on facebook from the friend of a girl he's been dating, we have it out and I lose my mind, he says they dated when we were broken up, and I guess since I'm an emotional facebook cutter I looked at her facebook, she is in love with him, he is in love with her, he bought her a claddagh ring, just like the one he bought me, it wasnt just when we were broken up, there are pictures of them together from a year ago, 2 weeks after I left last year they celebrated their 1 year anniversary. All this time I thought I was doing something wrong, I reread book after book making sure I wasnt putting too much pressure on him and after all this turns out it wasnt even anything I did wrong...it was just him having his cake and eating it to, it wouldnt be so bad but this is the 3rd or 4th (ive lost track) time he's done something like this. Is this part of his PTSD that they dont cover in any book? Ive been home for 6 days, i have his numbers blocked and ive got his girlfriend blocked on facebook but I cant help but wonder if he is laying awake at night thinking about me like I am about him. A huge part of my heart was ripped out and it can never be fixed and I know every story has 2 sides and I guess he can tell his if he wants but really did I miss something? there is no support group for this sort of stuff.

Current mood: crappy

Monday, May 2, 2011

5:20PM - OMG

I just heard. I just deflated with relief when I heard. I called my mom to make sure I had heard correctly.

THANK GOD. I'm in tears. I can't stop crying.

Current mood: relieved

Thursday, March 17, 2011

1:39PM - BBC Radio Series on Wlesh Regiment and their families.

Hi,

      thought you guys might be interested in this. It's a radio programme, so should be accessible outside of the UK.

  Ray Harley, Blairgowrie, Scotland.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00zf33r/While_the_Boys_Are_Away_Episode_1/

While the Boys Are Away - Episode 1

Gareth Jones chronicles the experiences of 2nd Battalion the Royal Welsh and their families. Preparations are underway for the upcoming Afghanistan tour of duty.

In this series of three programmes, broadcaster and film maker Gareth Jones chronicles the experiences of the families of the 2nd Battalion The Royal Welsh while the soldiers go off on a six month tour in Afghanistan.

In the first programme Gareth Jones - the man behind the critically acclaimed films 'Frontline Iraq' and 'Frontline Afghanistan' - meets the soldiers and their families as preparations are underway for the forthcoming tour of duty.

Producer: Martin Kurzik.

  • Broadcast on BBC Radio 4, 11:00AM Wed, 16 Mar 2011
  • Available until 11:32AM Wed, 23 Mar 2011
  • First broadcast BBC Radio 4, 11:00AM Wed, 16 Mar 2011
  • Categories
  • Duration 30 minutes
     

Tuesday, February 8, 2011

11:33AM - BBC World Service programme about British Airman shot down in the First Gulf War


Hi,

      I haven't had a chance to listen to this yet, but I thought I'd post the info here, as I thought it would be of interest.

  Ray Harley, Blairgowrie, Scotland.

http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/p00dbw55/Witness_Shot_down_in_Iraq/
 

Witness - Shot down in Iraq

Among those fighting against Iraq in 1991 was a British airman John Nichol, who was shot down and captured by Iraqi forces. He tells Witness about his time in captivity.

Among those fighting against Iraq in 1991 was a British airman John Nichol, who was shot down and captured by Iraqi forces.

He tells Witness about his time in captivity.

  • Broadcast on BBC World Service, 8:50AM Tue, 8 Feb 2011
  • Available until 12:00AM Thu, 1 Jan 2099
  • First broadcast BBC World Service, 5:50AM Tue, 8 Feb 2011
  • Categories
  • Duration 10 minutes

Current mood: calm

Friday, November 12, 2010

4:09PM - A Day Late but Hope It Means as Much

Thank you for the great service you did for us. I know you must have seen a lot of horror, and for that I am very sorry. Know that I think of all veterans and current troops and their families often and pray for their strength and peace of mind.

My thoughts and prayers are with you all. Take whichever gives you comfort; you're welcome to both. You're also welcome to my love as a fellow human being. *gentle hugs*

Current mood: contemplative

Wednesday, November 10, 2010

11:02PM - Greetings

Happy Fucking Birthday, Jarhead!


Wednesday, October 27, 2010

6:25PM

Hi, my name is Ande and I am organizing a group of people to make Valentines Day cards to give to the soldiers in the Los Angeles VA Hospital this coming Valentines Day. So far we have made around 50 cards and my goal is to have at least 300 cards to take to the men and women.

If you are interested in making cards and sending them to me so that I can take them all over to the hospital, feel free to join the lj community I made valentines4vets. Any help is appreciated. Thank you. :)

Current mood: optimistic

Sunday, October 10, 2010

5:09PM - America's New Taliban

Although this website is a self-help website, and we do not usually comment on freedom of speech or political issues, there comes a time when we cannot allow ourselves to stay on the sidelines --- silent.

There is now a case before the US Supreme Court that I think every person who loves freedom should watch closely.

The case before the US Supreme Court concerns whether the father of a dead Marine should win his lawsuit against a [so called ] fundamentalist church group that picketed his son's funeral.

The father alleged invasion of privacy, intentional infliction of emotional distress and civil conspiracy in his suit.

His son died in Iraq in 2006, and members of the Westboro Baptist Church protested the funeral to make their point that U.S. deaths in Afghanistan and Iraq are punishment for Americans' immorality, including tolerance of homosexuality and abortion.

Of course, the defendants insist that it is a case involving "their Constitutional right to free speech" -- whenever and however they want to express those rights.

But it is not as simple as that.

The issues, from my point of view, are the hurtful ( & Un-Christian) tactics employed by these protesters.

They assert their "right to speak their mind" while deliberately trampling the rights of people --who just want to bury their loved one in peace -- with dignity & respect.

Case in point-- the cruel, hurtful signs carried by the protesters. The Kansas congregation held signs outside the funeral reading "Thank God for Dead Soldiers" and "God Hates You".





The right to free speech, along with all the other rights which are guaranteed by our Bill of Rights, our Constitution, and our Laws are "rights" [that people in other countries are fighting and dying to secure] --which have been paid for -- by the blood of our past and present soldiers.


As Americans we are extremely proud and protective when it comes to our fundamental rights -- and we will readily assert these rights.

But consider this,

along with these "rights" we also have a tremendous responsibility -- both to each other, and to the rest of the world.

Just because we have the "right to free speech" --does not mean that as a result of our right -- we can step on the rights of others.


It does not mean that we can fore-go our responsibility to be:

-civil
-respectful
-lawful
-And if we profess to be Christians - to act from a position of love & forgiveness --and not for a position of hate & scorn.


Home Grown Terrorists



These home grown terrorists -hiding under the "Bill of Rights", are more dangerous than the external terrorist groups looking to undermine our way of life.

These home grown groups demand their rights -- but neglect their responsibilities & the rights of other.
These groups demand and fight for their right to say and do hateful things, while trampling on the rights of others.


Does this some familiar?

-This is the new Taliban -- The American Taliban.

If they have their way -

-very soon they would be chopping hands off.
-having public executions of people they deem undesirable.
-burning books, movies, videos.
-spreading fear and violence.
-taking away your rights.

America's "Silent Majority" -- it is time to speak up.

Your voices need to be heard --loud & clear

-Protest the protesters.
-March on Washington.
-Contact your elected representatives.
-Get your Religious Leaders involved.
-Contact our Free Press, TV Stations etc.


If these extremist groups [hiding behind our cherished rights] can say and do anything they want ---without being held accountable & liable -- what can we expect next?


In closing, I ask our Supreme Court Justices to:

- protect our "right to free speech" but remind our citizens that
-you are also responsible and accountable" for your words and actions.


Until tomorrow, stay informed

Victor

Your opinion is important.What do you think?

The price of greatness is responsibility. –quote by Winston Churchill

Tuesday, August 3, 2010

10:24AM - A Question

I hope it's ok to post this here, as I don't know where else I would ask. A while back I had some one from this comm on my friends list named grassangels. He had been to Afghanistan I believe, and had shared a YouTube video or two of his time there. He was a nice guy and I enjoyed reading his posts.

Then one day, his journal was just gone. Deleted. And now I just looked and it's been completely purged as a result of LJ's new policies.

I just want to know if anyone has heard from him? Or does anyone remember him saying anything before his LJ disappeared? It's been a few years now since it's been gone but I found myself thinking about him the other day and wished I knew if he was ok. My fear when I saw his LJ was gone was that he'd died, which is probably a little irrational of me. Like, who would know to delete it if he were and why would they do that in the first place?

Still, bottom line, does anyone know what happened to grassangels?

Thanks either way!

Current mood: hopeful

Monday, August 2, 2010

11:17PM - Fallen friends


My boots standing behind Adam's boots, Armistice Day 2008


I lost a few friends during the war, but I lost even more afterward. Adam, whose boots I display at every speaking event I have (yes, those are his boots), killed himself less than six months after we returned. He wasn't the only one. And there were many more attempts. A Sergeant in my platoon showed up at my door one night covered in blood and crying. He was crying because he "hadn't the guts" to do himself in properly, but only bleed himself out a bit. I dragged him back to his car and drove him to the the ER. He spent the next two weeks on the "13th floor", and my family and I visited him every day. He made it through, and has been comfortably back in society for a long time now.

Suicide is a legacy of combat service. My grandfather, my great-grandfather, and my great-uncle all killed themselves violently not long after returning from war. Every single suicide story I read or hear about strikes a deep chord.

I wrote this for a Vietnam-vet who was also a Veteran for Peace.
Not On Any Wall
Lines and shapes etched in a stark face of black,
Paper rubbings to take memories in tow,
Strong men stand with arms on another's back,
One hand on the wall and one on his brow.
Another made it out but never home.
Lost long ago to bloodlust, fear and hate.
The name is missing, my soul left to roam,
The wall's reflection shining back my fate.
My eyes, not recognized, react in shock.
History's alarm pulls me back alone.
Don't think. Don't dream. Don't blink. Shut down the lock.
My wall is stronger than any of stone.
They say I survived, but I know they're wrong.
My face is in the wall — where I belong.

When you see someone in need, don't be afraid to reach out.

11:36PM - Marines Rescue Animals in Afghanistan

I know marines =/= soldiers, but maybe a little story like this can cheer some people up?  It's too beautiful not to share, but please delete this if it is irrelevant to the community.:)

For soldiers who are on duty overseas, often time the only chance they get to cuddle is when they meet these stray animals. These soldiers are lonely and longing for love from their family and friends. The kitties are abandoned, lost and have nowhere to call home. When they find each other, they become best friends.

Saturday, June 19, 2010

6:33PM - Here's a recent BBC radio programme on the price some pay for serving their country.

Hi,

       last Tuesday on Radio 4 the BBC broadcast, on Radio 4, a programme about the mental health problems that too many servicemen & women suffer as a result of their service. I thought I'd post a link here, as I thought it might be of interest.


http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00sp1rv/File_on_4_15_06_2010/

New research plays down claims of an epidemic of mental illness among soldiers who've served in Afghanistan. But do the official figures tell the full story? Julian O'Halloran investigates and speaks to veterans who warn of a huge hidden problem and a culture that still pressurises soldiers to get on with the job rather than seek help.
And he reports from The Netherlands on efforts there to discover the extent of the psychological damage their military personnel may be suffering.
Producer Sally Chesworth.

    With much gratitude to all of you,
    Ray Hjarley, Perthshire, Scotland.

Monday, January 18, 2010

11:44PM

It's been a while since I've had a bad night, but tonight seems determined to make up for it.  Every little noise is making me flinch, my skin feels too tight, and I am fairly vibrating even though I am tired.  I'm bouncing from happily reading a book to wishing the world would swallow me whole.  I guess the best way to express how I feel is this:

I run,
Away from life and fears,
Always down a dark tunnel,
Never ending in its complete blackness.
I hide,
Where no one can judge me.
I am ever alone.
I cry,
Lacking in words to scream,
Looking for a way out...
There is none. 

Do any of you ever feel this way?  What do you do?  I can feel a panic attack waiting to take me, and I just want to be calm again, to have this loop stop playing in my head.  I hate this.  

Friday, December 25, 2009

7:24PM - personal finance community

Hello all!

I have a huge interest in personal finance and money management and I was surprised at the lack of personal finance communities on LiveJournal. So, I went ahead and made one.

moneysmart


I am hoping that it will turn into a vibrant, active community. I plan on posting 1-2 times a week different articles about money management topics. I also want it to be a support community for people trying to become debt free or just trying become better with managing money.

Also, to make this more relevant to soldiers_heart, I realize that a lot of military families struggle with just soldier pay, especially if one parent stays home with the kids while the other is deployed. Additonally, it can be difficult financially while transitioning out of the military and into the civilian world. It can be hard to learn how to budget with a low income. Knowing how to budget and plan is a valuable tool that will pay dividends later in life, if you start now!

Please join, and spread the word!

Merry Christmas everyone! =)

(x-posted...sorry!)

Friday, December 18, 2009

11:03AM - Remembering the missing..

Hi,

as this is the first xmas my sister will be without her husband, after nearly fourty years; my nieces, nephew; and grandaughter, without their (gran)dad, I thought I'd wish all of you who've lost a loved one a peaceful season of goodwill.

Also, yesterday, the BBC News Channel broadcast an interview with a veteran of WWII http://www.bbc.co.uk/iplayer/episode/b00pgvfp/HARDtalk_Fergus_Anckorn_World_War_II_veteran/

The blurb runs as follows :- 2009 saw the death of the last surviving British soldier who fought in the trenches in the First World War. The band of old soldiers who served in the Second World War is dwindling fast. Stephen Sackur talks to World War II veteran Fergus Anckorn, who was shot, survived a massacre and lived through three years in Japanese prisoner of war camps.

Let's remember all those who've lost soemone this year, as well as all those who have loved ones to remember at this time of year.

They will all be missed,
Ray Harley, Blairgowrie, Scotland.

Current mood: contemplative

Friday, December 4, 2009

9:54AM - I'll have a blue Christmas without you.

At the beginning of the week I sent my best friend and her unit a Christmas tree and all the trimmings. Except for lights - I was told don't bother sending anything electrical; unless it has a converter box it'll just blow up.

They're over at Fort Liberty in Baghdad. Wonder how it'll look amongst all that cement and sand. She told me she'll send me pictures when she gets it.



I miss her so much. We've done it before, though, and her job is much much safer this tour. She's not doing convoys this time. It's just... this is the second time in the past 15 years where she can't help me put up the tree, or yell about stupid blinking lights, or drink eggnog and listen to terrible Christmas carols, or try (and fail) to bake cookies, or hope that we'll have mistletoe kissing partners this year, or pick out toys for Toys for Tots together, or wear matching ugly light up sweaters, or have snowball fights, or build giant snow caterpillars, or go sledding, or skiing, or build snow caves, or dance. Or hug.



Seven more months....


That's it, I just thought of something. We'll do Christmas in July. Brilliant!

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