Ms. Andrea Goody (drealeigh) wrote in soldiers_heart,
Ms. Andrea Goody
drealeigh
soldiers_heart

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Ive been a good post service girlfriend but I have to know....

When do you draw the line? When has someone just taken everything they can from you and you finally snap out of it and notice? Ive been friends with this guy for 4 almost 5 years and we had 2 years of a very off and on relationship...Ive stood by him through every med change through every thing the VA wanted to try, through EVERYTHING, reading/devouring books about PTSD and such. And everytime I think it's finally going to work and its finally the right time for us, its my birthday (last week) Ive driven 14 hours to see him for a week and after 4 days together I get a message on facebook from the friend of a girl he's been dating, we have it out and I lose my mind, he says they dated when we were broken up, and I guess since I'm an emotional facebook cutter I looked at her facebook, she is in love with him, he is in love with her, he bought her a claddagh ring, just like the one he bought me, it wasnt just when we were broken up, there are pictures of them together from a year ago, 2 weeks after I left last year they celebrated their 1 year anniversary. All this time I thought I was doing something wrong, I reread book after book making sure I wasnt putting too much pressure on him and after all this turns out it wasnt even anything I did wrong...it was just him having his cake and eating it to, it wouldnt be so bad but this is the 3rd or 4th (ive lost track) time he's done something like this. Is this part of his PTSD that they dont cover in any book? Ive been home for 6 days, i have his numbers blocked and ive got his girlfriend blocked on facebook but I cant help but wonder if he is laying awake at night thinking about me like I am about him. A huge part of my heart was ripped out and it can never be fixed and I know every story has 2 sides and I guess he can tell his if he wants but really did I miss something? there is no support group for this sort of stuff.
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